Guys I don't know what to do. I'm in a real pickle here.
Over the past few months I've been getting really sick of being a donkey at work and filing the same stupid reports all the time. Recently, management brought in some consultants to improve synergy and efficiency and whatnot... You know? Basically to fire a bunch of people. A couple weeks ago, my boss asked me to work the weekend and I told him I would, but then when Saturday came around I just decided not to get out of bed. I just got confirmation that my girlfriend was cheating on me and we broke up. It’s cool though, it gave me the courage to finally ask out this cute waitress, Joanna. I went into the office to grab something the other day and I had my meeting with the synergy consultants. I told them that I have no motivation and that management around here is a f***ing joke. I think they felt that I was a straight shooter with upper management written all over me. They must have because I’ve spent most of the last week fishing with my buddy instead of going into work and now I got a raise, people reporting to me, and freaking stock options. When I found out that those jackasses decided to fire my only friends at the company, we hatched a genius plan. One his last day, one of my buddy’s put a virus on the computers that would take the fractions of a penny left over from each transaction and put it all in an account that we set up. It’s not really even stealing. Well, I don’t think so anyway. I told Joanna at a party last weekend, and she was really upset and thinks that it’s wrong. AND I found out that she once slept with my dickhead boss! We got in a fight and she stormed away. That’s not the problem though. I just found out that my idiot friend missed a decimal in the virus code and we are totally gonna get caught. It was only supposed to take small amount of money but the account already has over $300,000 in it. I don’t know what to do. We are totally gonna get caught and I might end up in jail. And to top it off, I stole our shitty printer from work and me and my friends smashed the shit out of it last week. They haven’t figured it out yet but when they do, I’m gonna get fired, go to jail, Joanna probably won’t even come visit me…
Guys, PLEASE! I need your advice! Wtf should I do?
- Peter
Over the past few months I've been getting really sick of being a donkey at work and filing the same stupid reports all the time. Recently, management brought in some consultants to improve synergy and efficiency and whatnot... You know? Basically to fire a bunch of people. A couple weeks ago, my boss asked me to work the weekend and I told him I would, but then when Saturday came around I just decided not to get out of bed. I just got confirmation that my girlfriend was cheating on me and we broke up. It’s cool though, it gave me the courage to finally ask out this cute waitress, Joanna. I went into the office to grab something the other day and I had my meeting with the synergy consultants. I told them that I have no motivation and that management around here is a f***ing joke. I think they felt that I was a straight shooter with upper management written all over me. They must have because I’ve spent most of the last week fishing with my buddy instead of going into work and now I got a raise, people reporting to me, and freaking stock options. When I found out that those jackasses decided to fire my only friends at the company, we hatched a genius plan. One his last day, one of my buddy’s put a virus on the computers that would take the fractions of a penny left over from each transaction and put it all in an account that we set up. It’s not really even stealing. Well, I don’t think so anyway. I told Joanna at a party last weekend, and she was really upset and thinks that it’s wrong. AND I found out that she once slept with my dickhead boss! We got in a fight and she stormed away. That’s not the problem though. I just found out that my idiot friend missed a decimal in the virus code and we are totally gonna get caught. It was only supposed to take small amount of money but the account already has over $300,000 in it. I don’t know what to do. We are totally gonna get caught and I might end up in jail. And to top it off, I stole our shitty printer from work and me and my friends smashed the shit out of it last week. They haven’t figured it out yet but when they do, I’m gonna get fired, go to jail, Joanna probably won’t even come visit me…
Guys, PLEASE! I need your advice! Wtf should I do?
- Peter
In a pickle. Need advice!
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