Create the biggest troll resume

I don't know why I find this amusing but I need to feed my imagination. Create the biggest troll resume so that there is a small chance an employer would feel bad enough for you to give you the job (doesn't necessarily have to be for actuarial positions).



Goal- Obtain entry level actuarial position.



Education

Bachelors degree in economics from Univeristy of Wahoo

2.7 GPA



Exams-

Planning on Sitting for P on March 9, 2018.

Completed the VEE microeconomic



Experience

Calculus I

Proficient knowledge in Excel from Computer science 101

Business Statistics



Criminal record-

1 count of Battery

2 counts of shoplifting

Create the biggest troll resume